Why So Serious?

I was never the type to be serious about anything. In retrospect, I turned everything into a joke. As a kid at the age of 8, I was never normal. I did things that you wouldn't expect a kid of that age to do. I smoked and drink with the older kids. I stole cigarettes from anyone who had some, and then stole liquor from stores. At first I did it to feel cool, but eventually it just became a habit. It was an escape for what was happening around me. Dark secrets that haunted me at night, thinking it was a game that was made to feel me uncomfortable. Incomplete broken family, who's love was needed. Having to see a friend being buried early. Despite the fact that I always remembered the bad things that went on. I was still immature enough to the point i'm pervertedly joking about stuff or just acting like kid playing with legos. I grew up being the weirdest guy with an unstable mood. when I was always picked on. They would make fun of the way I stutter when talking, being too shy to talk to anyone. In return, I would just laugh and spit on their face. Instigating a fight so I can be suspended for a couple of days and I get to be lazy at home. Just sleeping and hanging out with the older kids who ditched. It was a weird way of getting back at them, but I didn't know any other way to react. I never want to walk away and be the kid that just let people mess with. In addition, The way I look with my two front tooth making me look like a rabbit whenever I smile. I would use them to make my little brother laugh whenever we get to rough play fighting. I was never the best brother, but I cared about him the most. I would defend him, no matter how many kids wants to beat him up. I even remember when I got hit with a baseball bat, blocking it before it hits my little brother. I felt like I always have to defend him, being the only little brother I had. Also I was early with how my body develop, I started growing facial and body hair around 10 years old. I remember being called Chewbacca, I would just go with it and the noise it made. Just accepting what's true, making the best of it and not letting it get to me. I lower my self esteem before they can, I always got the last laugh. I never really cared about myself. Negativity surrounds me, thinking of the worst in any situation. Although I was like that, I never really show that side of me to people. I was resilient when it comes to petty name callings. I tend to just try my best to not get in anyone's way so they won't get in mine. I recently sobered up after many weeks of coughing blood. I had too many close calls with overdosing, and alcohol poisoning. I was done making the people who cares about me worry. I realized i gotta be tough to protect my little brother and other people i care about.

Even now, maybe my story is ambiguous. I was never the story teller. I'm not even sure if i'm a “everyday hero”. All I know is I do things for the right things. Well for the most parts. I'm the brother who would do anything for his little one.  The guy who doesn't let being teased affect him. 

The Change For "Me"

 

Many people today are not comfortable with their body and don't know how to change it. Well, I was one of them who wasn't comfortable in their body but I changed it. I am an everyday hero because I have shown many people the true definition of changing for yourself. It all started in 9th grade when I realized I was gaining more and more weight. As I was gaining more weight my confidence was decreasing more and more. Even though I was athletic because I played tennis I was still overweight. I actually was an very dexterous tennis player. I was this quiet, shy, and non-sociable girl in my freshman, sophomore, and junior year in high school because I wasn't comfortable with my body. I was never ostentatious of my body. After 11th grade in the summer, I began to realize that I could change my body for me. Not for anyone else but for me. So, in the summer I worked my butt off. I was on the tennis courts every single day, running laps, doing push ups and sit ups. I was doing every exercise you could possibly think of. I never frittered time. When I got the opportunity to work out , I did. During this whole process I never weighed myself once because I was to ashamed of my weight. When school started back people started telling how good I look and I still didn't listen or realize if I did or did not. One day at tennis practice we were getting weighed. My coach weighed me and left the courts. When my coach came back she pulled me aside and said "Serina you know you lost 30 pounds!" and I looked at her with a confused face and said "I did?". I couldn't believe that had lost that much weight. She had compared my weight from now to the last time she weighed me. From that moment I said to myself "I did it!". My confidence increased so much and I now was this happy girl that was happy with herself inside and out. Every time I tell someone my story they say "How did you do it?" and I say "Hard work pays off and I believed in myself." I have inspired many people to get motivated and change what they don't like about their body for them. I believe you can change anything if you just believe in yourself. It was the change of my life. I believe if I didn't lose the weight I would have either gained more weight and would have been unhappy. In retrospect, I've realized I came a long way, but I did it. I am proud to self I lost weight and I did it for me and on my own.

Here is my before and after:)!

Hero-Shi's Hero Blog

Hero-Shi's Hero Blog

Heroes are not made, it's more of a natural thing. People always say that celebrities are their heroes, but are they really hero's, or are they just someone you look up to because they seem to be at a higher level then most people. In order for you to be a hero, you need to have courage and you have to be outgoing. My hero is my mother because when me and my sister were young, she did everything she could to keep us from danger, it was rough for her being a single parent. When she struggled, she would never show it, she would make everything seem like there was nothing going wrong and everything was going to be fine. It would be hard to figure out the struggles she was going through because she would never tell us anything, but no matter how bad the situation was, she would still somehow find a way to not let it show. In 2005, she became really ill and it happen so quick, it was hard for her to not let it show that she was sick, but one day before I went to school, she told me and my sister, as she was laying down on the sofa, "I love you both with all of my heart, and no matter what happens, I want you to know that." When she told me and my sister this, we knew something was wrong, she wouldn't normally say this off the back. That evening, my grandpa picked me up from school. I knew something was wrong because he never picks us up. When I got home, the first thing I did was look for my mom, but she wasn't there. My grandpa told me that she was really sick and she was at the hospital. The next couple of weeks, I could only visit her in the hospital, and I was only able to see her for 30 minutes a day. I remember asking her, "Mom, whats going on? Are you okay?" And she would smile at me and say, yes everything is okay, I will be fine. What she didn't tell me was she was dying from liver cancer. It got so bad to the point that she had to be transferred to a bigger hospital. On May 15, 2005, at 8:32am, the morning I went to see her at the new hospital, me, my aunts, and my sister got the news that she had passed away. The only thing that was going through my head was, I have to be dreaming, this isn't real, I walked up to her, tapped her hoping for her to wake up out of her coma, and she didn't she just laid there and I backed up and started crying. That year was the worse year, its hard seeing your mother dead right in front of you. Till this day I miss her and I visit her as often as I can, but I know she is looking down on me, and she is proud of how far I've gotten. Life is hard dealing with parents that are no longer around, but it's just a test of life and the only way you can succeed in life with this is if you stay mentally strong.

         My Life  Story That Makes Me A Hero

A lot of things may make someone a hero , as for myself i consider to be a hero for many reasons; i consider myself to be a hero because i am the first child out of my siblings to actually go through with school graduate high school and take the necessary steps to further my education like enrolling myself into a community college like EL Camino . Although school has being one f my top portieres for a very long time some of the struggles I've over came and has still being able to bounce back into society and continue on my path of success has also made me the person i am today. At the age of 15 i suffered one of the biggest lost of my life and that was losing my only older brother at the time i had skipped a whole year of ninth grade because i just didn't know what to do or how to even cope with the situation at hand I'm not exactly sure how but some way i manage to pull myself together after such a tragic turn in my life and continue on to the path to success. i later returned to school in my sophomore yeah i surprisingly did phenomenal i worked as hard as i could i ended up graduating not just by getting  by either i graduated with honors and from that point on in my life along with my many other struggles my words of encouragement that i like to tell myself is. " what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" meaning what you go through no matter how dark a situation is at the time being at hand if your still alive and breathing and you can over come that it has only give you a stronger back ground a more wiser and strong outlook on certain situations .

Being a Mother

Being a Mother

Unlike people that estrange their children, my everyday struggle is being a good mother. The everyday struggles of poverty in my life make my job as a mother even more difficult. I am a single mother and a full time student living off welfare. My daughter’s name is Mariah and she is two years old. I am currently looking for a part time job because I don’t even afford a single unit apartment. I share a room with a roommate and that’s hard with a two year old. I try to spend as much time out of my place because when I’m there I am constantly telling Mariah, “Don’t touch that,” or “that’s not ours.” Also my driver’s license is suspended due to juvenile failure to appear tickets. Which does not make any sense to me because I’ve never had a license? But by law I have to pay more than $2500 to unsuspend it. Although it is illicit for me to be driving I still drive. Slowly but surely I plan to overcome the struggles of poverty that make my life more difficult. For example, thankfully with the help from financial aid I bought myself an old cheap car. Now I drive an 88 Toyota Camry. Even Though it can’t go faster than 60mph and it can be pretty hot since it has no tints, I don’t complain. It is better than walking in the sun, rain, wind, storm... Better than waiting 30 minutes for a bus that’ll only drop you off half the way you need to be. If that bus skips your stop for any reason it’ll be an hour wait. With a car it is easier to look for a job now. Instead of being despondent about my everyday struggles I am euphoric because I am confident about overcoming the obstacles in my life.

No Excuse to Not Give Back

 

 

     Ever since I was a child I was taught to always keep family in mind, through every circumstance, no distractions. In other words, become loyal to all that is my "family". Thing is, I wasn't allowed to really have any close friends growing up because of the fact that my mother could never trust anyone around. In order to avoid my mothers rage, I became dexterous into fooling others, gain information, lie my way out of problems, persuade people into doing my bidding's without notice, create false situations, cause problems amongst friends, and become the heartbreaking conscience to one person knowing it would break their own family apart. I felt like my own happiness and voice had frittered away along with them. As long as I collaborated and did these things, I was fine, at least that's what I was told but I never understood why I had to do so. "Ha! You don't have any friends, no one will ever be your friend! You don't need them, you have family," my mother would remind me. Back then I did as I was told because I was young but I began noticing what my actions and words did around me as I got older.
      Friendships and relationships broke, families parted from one another, people became depressed, and still I did not know the purpose of causing these scenarios one bit. Years later, I came to ask my mother the reason behind all the chaos created. The conversation had turned into an argument and that's when I noticed the unhappiness behind my mother's rage. Yet, I knew that didn't matter anymore. Through all the madness of the argument, one thing she had said stood out the most. "Why try so hard to please those other than your family? You treat us like we don't matter, as if we don't help you at all. Because of your bad character towards us, no one will come to like you! Good luck finding someone who will even love you! I doubt you'll ever succeed with that fowl attitude and misbehavior!", now that I knew the kind of person she was, I chose to prove her wrong.
      In that same year, I did what I wanted which was to help anyone possible. I motivated students on going to school, tutored, encouraged people onto moving forward, helped discover hidden talents that brought them scholarships, attended fundraisers, donated to those in need, fix problems/arguments, bring friends together, became a singing mentor, pitched in for those who couldn't afford a meal, raised money for the ill, and finally, be kind to everyone around me. I did all that was in my power to change who I was and make a difference. To me, every little bit count and it felt more than satisfying to do the right thing. I've come to recognize myself as someone who will always be happy and kind to others, there's really no limit to how many people you can help feel better with an authentic smile. May sound ridiculous but it's true.
      To this day I still do the best I can to keep others going, no matter what comments my mother may say.  I know that my actions in the past are irrevocable but it's never to late to do what's right. I'm still participating in as many events and fundraisers as possible, as far as volunteering to rebuild an old elementary school. Something I've been wanting to be part of for a while. Although my mother may not notice the significance of it now, she will eventually and be proud but until then, I'm fine with how things are and I am now. Someone that people can now trust and come up to for aid and assistance. As far as I know, there's sure to be others with that same intention. Now, there really should be no excuse to change for the better and make a difference in some one's life. It's worth every effort.

"My Struggle in life"

"We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in your past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here Now with the power to shape your day and your future"-Steve Maraboli. Growing up was very tough and crazy for me, I went through a lot in my life. When I was young I didn't get much attention from my parents, we weren't very social able. I never had the change to talk to them about anything in mind or have time for me because both of them would work. I taught myself everything. As I got older, my state of mind and mentality was very different from my parents. When I entered high school I was seventeen
 years old at the time, my struggles began to get even worst. School was very difficult for me. I did not understand none of my class. I would never listen to my teachers. I began to hang out with the wrong crowd. I basically got to the point where I hated school and did not care anymore. My mistake was I started to go out and party a lot. I would stay in the streets mostly everyday. I wouldn't even go back home for day or two. I begin to drink alcohol. That was my main focus; I would drink everyday. I would miss school and rather hangout and drink. I got to the point where I couldn't control my use. I resulted into anger; I talked bad language to my parents. I even left my house because I could take it anymore. Everyone tried to help me out, but I did not want any of it. I was so close minded; I only thought of myself and not what others thought and felt for me. I admit I had a drinking problem; I was an alcoholic. One day I went to a gathering with some friends late at night. As always having a good time and drinking alcohol. That night all I remember was I drank too much alcohol. I literally got drunk with no common sense. I blacked out. I fainted to the ground. Of course, no one saw because everyone was doing there own thing. My friend said since I was too crazy, she thought I went to sleep for a bit. She didn't think worse. A few hours later she noticed I wasn't waking up; she got worried. All she could do was call the ambulance. After doctors told me, I was intoxicated, I drank too much Alcohol. They said I am a very lucky girl to be alive right now because if your friend wouldn't have called and wait approximately an hour; I would have dying. I made my family and friend go through a lot. Because of my scary incident in a day I finally realized a lot. I need it to stop my drinking habits and get some real help, focus on my education to better myself, and know that life is not just an option, its a privilege. I had to make things right for myself and family. I regret everything I did in my past. But, now I am standing strong, working hard at my education, and I am currently one year sober. I expect the best for my future. I know I can't go back and start a new beginning, but I can start today or any day and make a new ending.

Better Student

What make me an everyday hero? I was born and raised in Belize City, which is a third world country. I have four sisters and one brother; we were raised by a single mother and my grandparents. My mother is a very strong and intelligent woman. She's a survivor of an abusive relationship. When she decide to step out of her thirteen years relationship. We were all maudlin. We walked out of the door, only with clothes on our backs. We didn't have anywhere to go so; we went from house to house to seek help. The people that we came across, most of them where very nice. The ones that where unpleasant to us and took advantage of our situation, I want to tell them Thank You. Many months went by my mom didn't had a job. She found herself doing things for people that thought less of her. The nice elderly people had a better understanding of what my mom was going throw. So they would send us food. Most of the time it was a live chicken, my brother would kill the chicken and then my mom would cook it with some tortillas, she made from scratch. Our drink would be pipe water and sugar; the sugar gave us the ideas that were drinking something different. Even though we had to relinquish our old life, being poor were a new start to happiness.

When the new school year would start my mother would cry in silent, because she couldn't subsidize for our uniform, shoes and books. Most of all books where the most expensive thing. So we either had to share with a neighbor or were unable to do our classwork and homework. Because not having a textbook. When I was in the six grade, I went through a despondent phase. My grades started to drop. I went from being an honor student, to a student that couldn't keep up. I did passed the six grade with a 73.3, all you needed was 70%. My mother and the principal decide to make me repeat the six grade. I was, mad about the decision they made. All of my friends went on to the next grade. Some of the people I thought were my friend started to make fun of me. First challenge I had to face. I had to find a way to get my textbooks. So I decided to sell snacks at school. Each week I made about thirteen dollars; couple weeks went by, I was able to afford two textbooks. My mom was very proud of the way I was adopting to the new changes we were facing. At the middle of the first semester my grades went through a proliferation period. I became the smarts person in the class. I would over hear my teacher, saying good things about me, and it made me feel good.

This situation makes me an everyday hero because; I came from an abusive and violent environment that made me a very shy person. I never want to regress into that girl again. In each one of my classes I want to be the best student I can be.

Failure brings motivation and determination.

My Journey to Success

 “If my mind can conceive it, if I my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.” –Jesse Jackson I come from a family of six and being part of a big family was good at times but not always. My parents always expected me and my rest of siblings to graduate from high school then get into a cal state or even a UC.I wanted to accomplish that and make my parents proud. All of that determination went down when I entered high school; everything was so different from middle school. I did well all through ninth grade but when I started 10^{th grade} that is when my grades started to drop. I wasn’t finishing my assignments in class or doing my homework because I had trouble understanding the work that was taught in class I had relinquished on myself  I didn’t do anything about it and it continued all through 11th grade. I hid my poor grades from my parents because I didn’t want to disappoint them and I didn't want to bother them to worry with my school stuff . I finally, realized at the end of 11th grade that I had to do something about it so I went to adult school to retake the classes that I had failed and I needed to graduate.  I began my senior year and made sure that I did my work and not put it aside like I did before and made sure to ask for help when I needed it. Then came the time when everybody started applying for colleges. That is when it hit me the most all my mistakes weren’t irrevocable. My grades in high school had affected me to getting into a good college. I was stressed out because I was expected to attend a 4 year college like my sisters but I knew inside that wasn’t possible because of my bad choices. I felt like I was a disappointment to my parents. I knew that I had to tell them the truth that I wasn’t going to attend a 4 year college like my sisters. I told them that I was going to attend a community college once I graduadted from highschool I imagined the worst from them but they were okay with it and understood they told me that not matter what they are proud of me and they will  never be a disappointment.I am now putting  as much effort into my education to prove to my parents that I can accomplish my goals and not let them down and myself .

From Obese to Modern Fit.

"With self-discipline most anything is possible" Theodore Roosevelt. I've always struggled with my weight. I was a lethargic kid, reaching a size 36 by the time I was 16 years old. I knew I needed to lose weight. So for the next decade, I kept gaining and losing the same 10 pounds and adding more each time. I didn't know how to cook healthy, and I hated to exercise. As I turned 23, and standing at 5 feet 4 inches, I weighed 215 pounds and had high blood pressure which was a detriment to my health. The extra weight drained my energy and i was not euphoric about myself. I was treating my body like garbage, and i felt it was time for a change.

January of 2011, i made a new years resolution. I knew I needed to start investing in my health. And i had to relinquish all the junk food that i was consuming. About two months in and all the healthy changes I was so committed to were falling apart. Working out was torture, I didn't enjoy the kickboxing and cycling classes at my gym. At more than 200 pounds, I wasn't able to keep up with my thin, fit classmates. While I managed to drop a few pounds, I did not see or feel any real difference. I felt like I was sweating my heart out, but then I would see a picture of myself and think, "Hey, I still look fat." I began thinking that my body was not designed to be any smaller.

That spring, during one of the cycling class I was still forcing myself to attend, one of my guy friends invited me to stay and take the next class with him. It was Turbo Kick Boxing. I knew it had something to do with dancing, which sounded fun, so I decided to give it a shot. Thinking that I would be embarrassed, I snagged a spot in the back corner, but soon people of all ages and sizes, even big guys like me, started filling the room. I was so thankful that I wasn't the only big person in the room, and I instantly felt more comfortable. 

After my first class, I started attending Turbo Kick Boxing two or three times a week. It was the perfect antidote to my hatred of working out. Unlike aerobics, this was something I really enjoyed, so I put more effort and intensity into each class. Soon I began to see the results I wanted. I dropped 15 pounds in 3 months! Not only was all the cardio burning calories, but the choreography also helped tone my arms and core. I felt so great about myself that I started making other healthy changes too. I watched my portions and ate more fruits and vegetables. By the year's end, I had lost 50 pounds! When you're heavy, you often have a fat-boy mentality that is just as burdensome as the weight. Even if you can physically do something, you tell yourself you can't or don't deserve to. But with a little extra push, motivation and the will to achieve something you can accomplish anything if you put in the time.

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/struggles.html#0sSwoQScT3mxSaZS.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/struggles.html#0sSwoQScT3mxSaZS.99

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/struggles.html#0sSwoQScT3mxSaZS.99

The Separation

Growing up in a household of 5 was difficult for me because I was the second youngest and wasn’t getting the attention from the parents that I wanted. Also, finding out that my parents were going to separate made it harder on me because I was in a detriment at the age of 10 to choose which parent I wanted to live with. My siblings and I decided to go live with my father, so once we moved in with my father, his other family was very welcoming and wonderful to us. I truly believed that I was going to live a good life and not have any more issues anymore but yet I was wrong. Growing up in the new house I began to notice my stepmother arguing with my two older sisters and they would fight almost every day until my sisters decided to move out. I was really despondent because my sisters left and I felt that my dad’s family didn’t want my family here. So I began to do badly in school, I would skip school 2 days a week and wouldn’t turn in any homework. I would get suspended from school once a month until I just got kick out from school for fighting and had to go to a different school. I would be fighting with my step brothers almost every day because they didn’t like the way I would treat and talk to their mom. I wouldn’t listen to my father and I would just talk back to him, that one day he hit me and I just ran off to my friends house and didn’t come home for about a week. I was so angry that I collaborated with my older brother to run away from the house and go live with my mother who really cared about me. So, one day I went back home and I realize that my younger sister would stay up all night crying about her family being apart and what kind of person I had become. Seeing her like that really hurt me and that’s when it hit me hard and I realized that what I was doing wasn’t good for me or my family. I began to change for my little sister because I wanted her to look up to me and do everything she can to become a better person than me. So, in high school I focused on getting good grades and also told my father to take me to therapy to work on my issues. Little by little I started to fix my anger issues and began passing all of my classes. I graduated from high school with good grades and now studying in college. I am now looking forward to transferring to a university to get my degree and live a wonderful life. I spent a lot of time with my sister and lead her on the right path of becoming a better person than me. Now in retrospect, my life is better than before and I couldn’t be any happier of who I have become for me and my sister who inspired me to change.

Negativity..

Growing up as an obese child wasn't the best. Everywhere i would go people would just give me a weird stare. I wasn't able to go eat to places when I wanted to since I would feel uncomfortable.  I would always have my friends make fun of me and put me down. When it came to paying sports I would always be the last one to get picked on. They would always say I wasn't capable of playing sports. When they told me that I wouldn't get euphoric. They made me believe I wasn't good when i knew I wasn't that bad. They would also tell me that I wasn't never going to lose weight. As I grew older It didn't stop. It would be the same thing, different day. I got tired of it. Going into high school is when I decided to make a change. I didn't want to get made fun of anymore. I started exercising, and dieting. My mother had seen that I changed my eating habits. She wanted to collaborate on eating clean and exercising daily. Everyone that once had told me that I was never going to lose weight and seen me in high school didn't recognize me since I've lost so much weight. I proved everybody wrong. The negativity didn't end there. Till this day I get told that I'm just going to have a rudimentary job, getting paid minimum wage. People tell me that I'm not capable to being an engineer. By them telling me that I'm not able to be what I want to be is not making me relinquish. That is what is keeping me move. As of now I'm working at the airport and being a full time student. Im not going to stop till I prove everybody that once told me I'm not able to be what I want to be.