Childhood

   Looking back to my childhood it was a bittersweet experience. The reason why is because for the first half of my childhood I grew up with an abusive father. My biological father was in gang activity, and never spent any time with his family, when he did spent time with us, it wasn't anything to sweet to take in. My "father" would hit me with the electric wire, but it was not a soft hit, it was hit that will leave your back red, and all bruised up. My "father" hit me when I could not spell my name right correctly, even though it was the first day of kindergarten, and he also hit me when I asked him I was hungry and wanted food to eat. Well where was my mother during all of this? Well my "father" never wanted to help out in the house, so my mom had to take jobs to pay for bills and rent. The only time I felt safe was when I was in my bed, and doing word search puzzle (it was a book my mother bought me). I loved doing word search puzzle, even though I did not know what the words meant, or how to do pronunciation, I knew how to find them in the book by following letter by letter. One day my mother had the courage to give my dad an ultimatum, "do you choose your gang or your family." Not surprisingly he chose the gang over his kids. He then leaves the house, and hours later he gets arrested. He has served 14 years in prison, and that is the last I saw of him. In retrospect I  don't miss him at all, I'm glad he got arrested, and I never have to see him again. Yet, the issue that happen, had a very big impact on me, I began to isolate my self from people. I never spoke, I was labeled as the "shy kid." I did not like it all, and this shyness I had  prevented me from doing activity and making new friends. It does make me sad when I see kids having a good connection with their father, but also it makes me happy that their father is there, and helping them out in the life journey. I promised myself the day I become a father I would be their for my kids, and they don't have to worry me leaving.
        I was not the brightest person in the class, I will always do bad in my vocabulary test, and my math skills were so awful. My mother who wasn't a native English speaker would corroborate me with my vocab test, and then one day I did good in one test. Ever since that one test, I started doing good in class, going from the dumb kid to the smart kid. Ever since then I have been an ostentatious person when it comes to academics. I am now good at mathematics, and I got to skip from Math 80 to Math 180. I also won second place at my school spelling bee, and I won second place at the California Science Center Science Fair on Microbiology, which is where my interest in biology started growing.

>>Fast Forward>>
Well now I am a 19 year old, who attends El Camino College in hoping to transfer to UC San Diego, and getting my Bachelor's Degree in Human Biology. I am the first person in my family to graduate from High School, and go to college, and I'm euphoric that all my hard work paid off, and I still need more to go, but it all pays off.
I am not the shy kid I was years ago. I like making new friends, even though people tell me I look mean, and don't like talking, but I like meeting people, and getting to know them.

Life goes on

The definition of a hero is said to be someone who is admired and someone who has outstanding achievement . I believe that these are some qualities that can apply to me and I'm going to make it happen. Im the kind of person who if I put my mind into something Im not going to stop until I achieve it. Someone with a growth mindset. Meaning that I don't take failure as something bad , I take it as a lesson where I can learn from.  Ive always been a strong person who never puts my head down when something goes wrong.Instead I put it up and keep pushing forward . Even though thats how I am , there has been a tragic event that changed my life completely. It was about three years ago now back when I was a sophomore in high school. I remember coming home and all my family was at my house crying. I felt a sense of panic and a knot in my throat. I asked my mom what was going on and she told me that my uncle had passed away. He was honestly like a second dad to me. Always had told me that one day I was going to make it.He supported me with everything I did , the nicest person id ever met . Once I heard it was him , I felt as if there was a part of me missing. I felt despondent for a while because I missed seeing him around an I still do. Sometimes I retrospect to all of his facetious jokes he use to say just to make me laugh.But up until this day its hard for me to talk about him without wanting to cry. That was one of the most difficult times of my life and I wasn't resilient from that situation. I didn't know how to deal with it and it affected me so much that even took a toll on my school work. After that I just kept on falling behind on everything. Until I realized that , thats not what he would have wanted to see from me. To him there was no such a thing as giving up and I decided to get my life together and wanted to move on to become the person he knew I was.  I know if he was here he would be so proud of me for graduating high school,coming to college and making  my way up to my goals. I know thats what he would've wanted. After I got my life in order I decided to do everything I can to get a degree and be who I want to be. My next step is to finish college and make my whole family proud , since I would be the first college graduate in my family it means even more to me. That sense of satisfaction when I receive a degree will be an amazing moment knowing that I accomplished everything I said I would and I never gave up. I also want to be some kind of role model to my younger siblings and show them that if you put your mind into something you want , you can actually accomplish it. I believe that hard work pays off 100%.

My Life Struggle

   The biggest struggle in my life and still in my life, is attending college. Being the first in my immediate family to attend, is a hard thing. When you are used to having just anyone to help you with homework and then to go to being the only one that knows the how to do the work it is difficult. Even when I feel overwhelmed and ready to relinquish, I know that I if I want to accomplish my goals then I need to keep moving and keep trying. I do whatever I can to be able to finish my homework and get it almost infallible. When I am trying to get my work done, I offend have to squelch on some things in my life. When I have to focus on the class, I have to turn off my phone in order to be able to do the work. Also, I will turn off the television and just turn on music to keep my mind clear. I do have a snack so I do not think about food and eating, with breaks in between homework. When I do get despondent or aggravated with the work, I have to walk away and clean my mind. Then I’m able to do the work better because my mind is clear. Doing homework is not a big struggle in my life, but it does happen when I have been doing homework for a couple of hours straight. It gets better as I learn how to deal with time management skills. I do have a great family that will support me in anything I do which does make it easier to do what I need to get done. With the work I’m putting in and with my family’s help it makes it easier to get through college and daily life.

My Guardian Angel.

“Children are not supposed to die…Parents expect to see their children grow and mature. Ultimately, parents expect to die and leave their children behind…This is the natural course of life events, the life cycle continuing as it should. The loss of a child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent. The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of the perfection” –Arnold and Gemma 1994, iv, 9, 39 

 We are all the same there is no way to avoid and there is no use to try and escape it, it will find you someday. “Grief is a natural response to loss. Its emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away.” (help guide) The closer of a bond you shared the harder the process would be. I was suppose to be a parent my junior year at the age of sixteen barely surviving on my own and also a student attending West High. No one except a few friends knew. I’m more on the pro-life side, but can be understanding. I find it equally as bad as a homicide, but there was nothing I could have done back then and it frustrates me. I still regret my choice and I miss her (Athena Hatsu Nelson) everyday. I apologize and occasionally bargain ridiculous things such as to be able to meet her even once or to be able to go back in time. I feel anger that I did not over think the situation enough times that maybe I can give her to a loving family looking to adopt, and think of the option to visit her once in a while. In my mind my child did not die…I killed her. I am nothing better than a murderer. I don’t deserve any mercy I deserve to be caged up like all the other criminals. I will never be able to forgive myself of the sins I have done, except grief after someone I never really knew or met before. The only bond/memories I share with her is of her in the womb and being able to feel her heart beat and the baby bump constantly reminding me I am now a mother. June 27^th , 2012 was the last day I could feel her faint heartbeat. I killed her. I regretted my decision, but there was nothing much I could do.

     After the surgery I accepted the fact she was gone quite quickly, but it was a painful experience. Later on I got very despondent, isolated, almost went back to my dark past of self harm and considered suicide. I had friends who helped me go through it though. For a while whenever  I see the number twenty seven  I couldn't help, but break down a little inside of me and sometimes I break down outside and can’t keep myself emotionally stable. “When a child dies, parents (such as I) feel that a part of them has died”. (at health )“They will always feel the empty place in their hearts caused by the child’s death.” (at health )

     Like the article “Just Say Something” By: Betsy Okonski, I understand the grieving they have gone through and how the loss of their child “was (a) catalyst for profound changes in our lives.” Also when people found out more about the news they knew how much I wanted to keep her so “when the sympathy trickled off to nothing, I felt abandoned.” (Okonski) People believe when something drastic and life changing happens we want to hear things like “You can have another baby”, or “It is for the best” it does not help in fact it makes it worse and brings back memories and think about how we will never be able to see that person again. “Grief lasts a long time [and I believe] the first year particular is full of holidays, birthdays and other painful milestones, (Okonski) we are going to  have to go through.

     Researching about grief and parental grief I came to the conclusion I might be clinically depressed. I have some of the symptoms and have hard times where I felt as if life wasn’t worth living, wished I could die or could have died with her, blame myself for the loss and etc. It makes me wonder how things would be if I kept her. They say pain will go away faster if you ignore it, but that is not true. The more you try to avoid the topic from surfacing the harder it will be on the long run. Reading the articles made me notice it was true. Like Okonski says “Just say something. It really does make a difference”.  I did not want fake sympathy though and I doubted anyone would want to hear about another life story.

     Lately I have been more open to talk about my loss and I have been talking to friends that know about the incident and I now tend to often draw my feelings whenever I feel down. I also learned if I don’t feel emotionally well to just sleep it off instead of risking the fact of me doing something stupid I may regret later on. My ex also believes I should get therapy, but I think I am doing somewhat okay just by talking to friends and drawing my feelings out. “No matter how short, [it’ll] be seen as a gift”( at health). I guess in a way Athena was a little bit of my gift to happiness. We all have the “If only’s” plague when a loved one has passed away because deep down we know that we will never be able to get them back and the memories making the grieving process harder. Sometimes I still get nightmares of her in it being scared, shaking, lonely and feel abandoned, and crying asking me why I left her even though I have never met her. It has been a tough couple of months grief is exhausting and very demanding, but I am slowly on the road to recovery.  In retrospect I wish I could have been more resilient it would probably helped me a lot, it doesn't help how most of my friends I hangout with are older and some of them have kids so it is quite ubiquitous, and feels like there is no escape from it. 

     If you ever find someone that has gone through a loss of a child do not avoid the parents or the grief and refrain from talking about the loss and referring to the child’s name and let them have a shoulder to cry on. One again “Just say something. It really does make a difference.” (Okonski)

 

 (My tattoo a reminder to think of my actions before I do something and the day of the abortion.)---->

"graduating high school"

After Failing my California High School Exit Exam two times as a senior was the hardest obstacle I’ve had to overcome. There were times id given up on myself and didn’t want to keep going because I was scared and I didn’t believe in myself .At first I felt if I just went in unprepared and without studying at all I would pass my test, but I didn’t. My teachers and my friends we’re begging me to go to tutoring or study for my test every day until the next one came up. But I kept getting distracted; all my friends were getting ready for prom and graduation, and I didn’t want to miss out. So I forgot about my studying once again. However I felt terrible I wanted to study, pass and graduate, and make my family proud of me. On the same note I wanted to hang out with my friends and participate in all my of our school actives. When it was time for me to take my test again I failed and not only did I fail, I failed with an even lower score than the first time I took it. Finally after getting my scores back I could not bare the fact that I really was not going to be able to participate in graduation and that made me want to work hard, go to tutoring a few hours after school, and study consistently. After two months of studying for my CAHSEE consecutively I passed with a score higher than anyone in my senior class that year, also I was the first person in my family to graduate from high school. Even though it was my biggest obstacle it also was my biggest blessing because it helped me realized I had to work hard for everything I wanted to overcome, and that I had many people supporting me I just needed to believe in myself.

Figure skating is my goal and I will not give up!

I call myself an everyday hero because I'm always a person who keeps going and never gives up. I follow my passions and I take pride in what I do. That is my definition of an everyday hero. Even though I can be a bit shy, I am gregarious at times. The struggles I face as a figure skater are falling or not achieving a certain skill level that I expected to get up to. Most people vicariously watch Disney on Ice or the Olympics in front of their television or computer screens, or they learn to skate but give up quickly because they realize it is harder than most people expected. I actually had the courage to get out there and tell my parents that I wanted to learn figure skating. So I went to Palos Verdes Ice Chalet in 2004. It was a hard journey for me, I remember begging and begging to go skating almost every weekend. It was a sacrifice they made for me, because of the amount of money we have to spend, but they did it because they knew I enjoyed it. As soon as my parents knew I enjoyed it, they decided to put me in lessons. Lessons were often tough because they taught me skills I didn't know how to do at first, even though they were actually rudimentary. On my 11th birthday, I had gotten a pair of skates. They were white and beautiful, and I couldn't wait to skate in them. About a year or two after having those skates, they got too small for me and I had to buy new ones. They took a while to break in, but they were still white and beautiful. I didn't always pass every test. When I didn't pass every test, I was often upset. I would take out my anger on my friend, I would cry, I would feel like I wasn't good enough. But everyone around me would tell me that not everyone is going to pass the first time and that not everyone is perfect. To get myself motivated about figure skating, I watch the Olympics or I sometimes draw lots of dresses that I wish I had. I love the embellishments on most of the dresses I see, it really makes the dress stand out. While there are many obstacles I face, I can overcome them. Figure skating has taught me how to face my fears and helped me discover my talent. My main goals are the Olympics and Disney on Ice, I would often watch these shows because I want to learn from other people and it's another way to help me set my goals and get myself motivated. As I began to show progress, I got private lessons. I chose my coach, Amanda, because I felt like she would help me get to my goals. She did help me, but I stopped skating with her. I switched to a new coach, Nathalie. Nathalie was nice at times, but she was a little strict. I stopped training with her in 2011, because my grandpa couldn't keep driving all the way to Palos Verdes. When he told me that, I switched from Palos Verdes Ice Chalet to Skating Edge Ice Arena in Harbor City/Lomita. It was such a great rink, but it got expensive and it felt different from where I used to skate at. So I went back to Palos Verdes Ice Chalet and saw Amanda for the first time in forever, it was fun seeing her again and working with her. I like to think of figure skating as a sensory sport. You can feel the cold air and touch the cold ice, hear the crowd cheering for you, and see everyone you have met. You can even touch other people's hearts. It is also considered an art at the same time, you can see how artistic a lot of skaters are and they often use facial expressions to tell a story. Even the costumes are done artistically. I believe anyone can learn to skate if they just try and put in the effort to learn. It's a beautiful yet challenging sport, but that's what makes it enjoyable to watch. I don't regret skating at all, I am happy to look back to the past to see how far I've come. It shows that I didn't give up, and I kept going no matter the situation.

My Big Change

"We promise ourselves tomorrow will be different, but often tomorrow us a repetition of today" -James T. McAy. Everyone struggles in their own way, some more than others. Throughout their lives there are moments where an event causes detriment. I was born the youngest of seven kids, being the baby had it's perks, but then again it's not always so pretty. Growing up, my parents weren't always able to give us everything, we mostly had to work for what we have. I always gregarious with my parents, but since my brothers and sisters needed my parents more, they barely had time for me. As growing up in schoolwork I wasn't always the brightest, half the time I didn't know what I was doing. I knew I had to keep through and continue my studies and try and do better for myself. My actual struggles became harder in high school, the constant tests, getting ready to graduate, preparing my journey into the world. When I became a senior, I knew I had to put it my all into at least understand what the lessons were. No matter how hard I studied or how hard I tried to comprehend the work, I still somehow got low grades, I was really disappointed with myself. Once I began to doubt myself, I let the bad get the worst of me. For my CAHSEE, it was like the end of the road for me. Since I didn't pass my English part, I began to scare myself and became so optimistic about my will. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to graduate or get anywhere. My family began to support in any way they could, some helped me with my work. When the big day came once again, man did I not only pray, but I studied more than I ever did. Finally when my score came back, I had a smile all the way home. I had passed my English part of the CAHSEE, everyone congratulated me, & I was proud of myself & relived. Graduation came & not only my family but myself included were proud that I graduated with honors and walked the stage. Though I had no idea in what I was going to do after high school, once again, disappointment and doubt began to run my path. I became despondent with myself. I began in searching the possibilities that I could take. Finally applying and keeping my options my open for myself. Once I found a college where I could begin a new path. I wanted my family to look at me with venerate & know what I'm capable of. Now that I am not only in college but working, I am trying and proving myself that doubt cannot and will not get a hold of me for the rest of my life. Yes, I'll have moments of struggle, but with the right mind & will power I know that I will be able to overcome it, much like I have done it on my own throughout the years.

Wake Up

"Everyone's gonna die. It's a natural part of life. But if life has no purpose, you're dead already." I sometimes like to tell myself this one quote I heard from an anime said by the protagonist named "Kiba" the anime called "Wolf's Rain". As a young boy I was filled with so much happiness and joy. The only negative thing in my life was my father. For he had a problem with alcohol, he would not always drink but when he did he would show lots of anger towards my mother. I never fully understand the problems between them. But as the years passed and I grew older. I began to feel a darker side of me arising. My father now a days still have problems from time to time but very rarely. He has told me he has done some things he is not proud of. I know he has had a very rough past as a child back from his country. We also have had some difficulties as I have grew. My father would start putting me down telling me things like I won't be anybody in the future I am unprepared. At first I ignored him thinking he was inane but as the years passed I realized he was right. I always thought he would tell me some nonsense because of how his actions are he was pretty mean to me for some thing I have done in my past. I was failing most of my classes, not knowing I was headed for failure til I finally opened my eyes and heard what he was saying. Pay attention and keep focus to what The good things in life are. Education is one of them, health and fitness was another, Love, and happiness. I was like a mindless zombie for so long I had no idea what I was doing til I had awaken from the self trance I was in. I started doing good in school, getting stronger at the gym til I had an injury. But now I am working myself back up and doing my very best to get the education I rightfully deserve and all I had to do was wake up and focus. It was all thanks to my father, a man I once took for granted. Thank you.

Never Give Up

My entry into this world was, perhaps, not unique, however, it has affected the course of my life. I was born prematurely, weighing in at 1 lb 7 oz, and measuring 12 inches in length. While I was a teeny little guy, there was really nothing wrong with me other than I was not fully developed. I was growing rapidly and doing well in the Neonatal ICU, (I had made it to 2 lbs!) so I was moved to the Pediatrics ICU. Unfortunately, while there, one of the nurses negligently broke my left leg. Rather than lifting me toward her, the nurse pulled me by my little foot across the isolet I was lying in and snapped my femur in two. Now, that is just a little insight into my life’s beginning. Of course, I healed and grew to be the young man you see today. However, there were other challenges that stemmed from my premature birth. One of the most challenging developments has been a chronic anxiety disorder. It began around the age of eight and has been a bit of a bane ever since. I have had difficulties with large crowds, loud noises, and sometimes just regular day-to-day stressers can cause a problem for me. My schooling has also been affected, especially with regard to testing situations. However, I have had a tremendous amount of support from family, friends, and teachers in facing my obstacles. I have decided that I will not allow my anxiety disorder to keep me from achieving my goals. I have a dream of becoming an historian; I will do whatever it takes to fulfill that dream. Regardless of the challenges I will face because of my anxiety, I will not deter from my path. No matter how long it takes or how difficult it may get, I will work diligently to become the historian I know I can be.

The American Dream

Moving to the United States was a big step for me and my family. I was just twelve years old when my mom decided to move to Los Angeles. My father had left us about 3 years ago; he wanted that American dream everyone wanted for their family and children to have a nice home, go to the best schools, and not work for a lousy wage that couldn't feed his family. So when my father left to the United States he told us he would send us money when he was stable and settle down. My father dexterous abilities had found a job at Gaviña &Sons a coffee company in Vernon, California. The hardest day of my life came when I had to leave Mexico to move with my dad. It was very a sad day for me because I was leaving behind the people I care for the most; my grandparents who had raise me since I was a newborn and all my friends from school. The following week came I was starting junior high in Gage Middle School. I was really nervous didn't know what to expect, I walk into class to Ms. Ramos class I introduce myself to her and my classmates the good thing she spoke English or I would have been so embarrassed since I didn't speak any English. My  first day was going pretty good until I got approach by this group of girls who were very pretty and dress nice asking for my name  I told them” I’m Adilene, nice to meet you.” They just scoffed at me making fun of my clothing and shoes I was wearing and push me. I was so scared after that I didn't want to go to school. The next day, they threatened me to hit me with another group of friends’ after school just because they didn't like me. I told my mother when I got home about the situation and she said I couldn't stay home that I had to go to school. Since I couldn't stay home or be in school. I started skipping school going to this arcade in town. I met some older kids from high school who would skip school as well except they would go over after the arcade to friends’ houses to go drink and smoke. I felt really uncomfortable and though it was wrong but all I wanted was too finally fit in with people, I decided to join them by drinking and smoking. Soon after that I started skipping school for almost a month, until my mom gets a call and that’s when she found out I was not going to school. When I got home, I knew she was mad because she looked very upset. She drove me to this area in Downtown La, where many people in the streets lived and ask me if I wanted to be like them having no home and being addicts with no future plans in life. I said “No.” She told me of the sacrifices she made for me to have a better life. I felt despondent that I wasn't making her proud but disappointing her and not taking advantage of all the opportunities in school so I was resilient to do my best in school and throughout the years I stay away from those mean girls. I remained strong and determined to finish school and graduated top of my class.

Overcoming Obstacles

  Being in a household of 7 is tough, thankfully my father has always been a hard worker. He works long hours, but as you can imagine money gets tight. Retrospecting to as I was growing up; I still am. I remember having to wear the same clothes for days and only having 2 or 3 pairs of shoes,  I would get bullied for wearing the same clothes and scoffed at, this would make me really despondent and  be mad at my parents at the time blaming them it was their fault, this caused me to strongly dislike school I didn't want to be there. I was getting poor grades too, which was bad, and only affected me in the long run. I would always remember the mean things the other kids would say, and in lunch and recess I would hide out in the library. As you can imagine this means I wasn't a gregarious person but more reserved. The library was my sanctuary, full of knowledge and there was no one there most of the time. When I went to junior high my mother started working, therefore both my parents were working, this helped a lot more. I remember so clearly how my face would brighten whenever my parents said we could have an extra pair of shoes or clothes, having this was the biggest highlight of my days, not getting new toys, or anything similar to that. In junior high though, I made the wrong mistake of hanging out with what people call "the wrong crowd", and I was going down the wrong path, I didn't realize it then or even cared much of the situation, since I was just a dumb teenager. But my siblings would tell me to straighten up my act; especially my sister she is the eldest of us. She would constantly get in my face about the decisions I would make, how my parents were trying really hard for us, how I should take in consideration the things we had, and if I didn't thrive I would be in the same situation, plus a loser. I just thought she wanted to ruin my life and be an evil sister; now I retrospect and I know she was only trying to help. So with all the obstacles and challenges of my high school year starting from moving around schools and doing home schooling, I did overcome the years and I understood that if I didn't try I would not get anywhere. Moving around to 3 different schools sucked, but everyday I would look back to the years of wearing the same clothes and how we can barley make ends meet in our household and I thought to myself, "what am I doing?" I want something better, and I pushed myself to get to school, to pass my tests and turn in all my work, so that I can get that diploma, I graduated from high school and now I'm in my 3rd year of college and with the help of my husband, and family. I am getting by and doing what's best for all of us and most importantly MYSELF. I will achieve my goals, and I will keep moving forward.

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress." Frederick Douglass. Since I was little my life was filled with happiness. My family and I were always gregarious. One day my life changed. My father started acting strange when my mother would leave to work. My mother would work long nights and my father in the daytime. My older sister caught my father drinking a beer outside. Day by day, my father was acting more strange. We notice he was not only drinking, he was involved with drugs. My mother decide to reach out to my father's family. They made an agreement for my father to move to Iowa. When I heard my father wasn’t going to live wit.h us anymore, I was detrimented. I was always daddy's little girl. Since that day, my whole life changed from living with a family of four to a family of three. I was vicarious and never realized something like this would happen to me. My mother, sister and I collaborated from this solution to make us more close than ever. Since my father left me I wouldn’t care because I thought to myself, if my father did not care why should I? I started ditching school and getting poor grades in school. I struggled in high school because I had been doing bad since the 9th grade. In my 10th grade of high school I realize to myself I am not going no good to myself and others. After, I graduated high school and went on with my education at El Camino College. Now I am here standing stronger than ever. Taking school more serious and having goals to achieve. Some people don’t believe in my success because of my past mistakes. I am not letting others bring me down. I will graduating from a four year university with my college degree and support my mother for all these years she has been working hard for my sister and I. It is my turn to work hard for her

I was born to migrant parents. My father came from Mexico by just crossing the border. We spoke Spanish at home. My roots are deeply rooted. Bonding with the family, enjoy great dishes of authentic Mexican food, the music playing and the streets of Mexico. My struggle began when I started going to school. I was a little different, I knew my education is important but my life had many turns and surprises. My father would tell me to read the National Geography Magazines. Knowledge of what is out there in the world. Which I began my interest in the different cultures of the world. He even had me learn how to type on the typewriter. I practice every day until I remember where the letters were in the key board. In college I was undecided in what my major would be. I try Speech and English courses but after a year later I decided that it was not what I wanted to do. So I join the military. There again I struggle in my new adjustment in the military. But I finally got the hang of it. Waking up at 530 in the morning to run with my battalion, assemble my weapon quickly and chow down in 20 minutes. I went on to study to be a Dietitian Aide. Taking what I know to places where ever the military took me. My oversea tour was another adjustment because of the language barrier, time change, and the culture was different. But I love being in Europe. I took a lot of pictures. The Gondola in Venice, the streets of France, the Germany beer tent in the Oktoberfest. But I always knew that my education is important to me. So I went to college to improve myself and yes, I can conquer my struggles.