My Big Change

"We promise ourselves tomorrow will be different, but often tomorrow us a repetition of today" -James T. McAy. Everyone struggles in their own way, some more than others. Throughout their lives there are moments where an event causes detriment. I was born the youngest of seven kids, being the baby had it's perks, but then again it's not always so pretty. Growing up, my parents weren't always able to give us everything, we mostly had to work for what we have. I always gregarious with my parents, but since my brothers and sisters needed my parents more, they barely had time for me. As growing up in schoolwork I wasn't always the brightest, half the time I didn't know what I was doing. I knew I had to keep through and continue my studies and try and do better for myself. My actual struggles became harder in high school, the constant tests, getting ready to graduate, preparing my journey into the world. When I became a senior, I knew I had to put it my all into at least understand what the lessons were. No matter how hard I studied or how hard I tried to comprehend the work, I still somehow got low grades, I was really disappointed with myself. Once I began to doubt myself, I let the bad get the worst of me. For my CAHSEE, it was like the end of the road for me. Since I didn't pass my English part, I began to scare myself and became so optimistic about my will. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to graduate or get anywhere. My family began to support in any way they could, some helped me with my work. When the big day came once again, man did I not only pray, but I studied more than I ever did. Finally when my score came back, I had a smile all the way home. I had passed my English part of the CAHSEE, everyone congratulated me, & I was proud of myself & relived. Graduation came & not only my family but myself included were proud that I graduated with honors and walked the stage. Though I had no idea in what I was going to do after high school, once again, disappointment and doubt began to run my path. I became despondent with myself. I began in searching the possibilities that I could take. Finally applying and keeping my options my open for myself. Once I found a college where I could begin a new path. I wanted my family to look at me with venerate & know what I'm capable of. Now that I am not only in college but working, I am trying and proving myself that doubt cannot and will not get a hold of me for the rest of my life. Yes, I'll have moments of struggle, but with the right mind & will power I know that I will be able to overcome it, much like I have done it on my own throughout the years.