No Excuse to Not Give Back

 

 

     Ever since I was a child I was taught to always keep family in mind, through every circumstance, no distractions. In other words, become loyal to all that is my "family". Thing is, I wasn't allowed to really have any close friends growing up because of the fact that my mother could never trust anyone around. In order to avoid my mothers rage, I became dexterous into fooling others, gain information, lie my way out of problems, persuade people into doing my bidding's without notice, create false situations, cause problems amongst friends, and become the heartbreaking conscience to one person knowing it would break their own family apart. I felt like my own happiness and voice had frittered away along with them. As long as I collaborated and did these things, I was fine, at least that's what I was told but I never understood why I had to do so. "Ha! You don't have any friends, no one will ever be your friend! You don't need them, you have family," my mother would remind me. Back then I did as I was told because I was young but I began noticing what my actions and words did around me as I got older.
      Friendships and relationships broke, families parted from one another, people became depressed, and still I did not know the purpose of causing these scenarios one bit. Years later, I came to ask my mother the reason behind all the chaos created. The conversation had turned into an argument and that's when I noticed the unhappiness behind my mother's rage. Yet, I knew that didn't matter anymore. Through all the madness of the argument, one thing she had said stood out the most. "Why try so hard to please those other than your family? You treat us like we don't matter, as if we don't help you at all. Because of your bad character towards us, no one will come to like you! Good luck finding someone who will even love you! I doubt you'll ever succeed with that fowl attitude and misbehavior!", now that I knew the kind of person she was, I chose to prove her wrong.
      In that same year, I did what I wanted which was to help anyone possible. I motivated students on going to school, tutored, encouraged people onto moving forward, helped discover hidden talents that brought them scholarships, attended fundraisers, donated to those in need, fix problems/arguments, bring friends together, became a singing mentor, pitched in for those who couldn't afford a meal, raised money for the ill, and finally, be kind to everyone around me. I did all that was in my power to change who I was and make a difference. To me, every little bit count and it felt more than satisfying to do the right thing. I've come to recognize myself as someone who will always be happy and kind to others, there's really no limit to how many people you can help feel better with an authentic smile. May sound ridiculous but it's true.
      To this day I still do the best I can to keep others going, no matter what comments my mother may say.  I know that my actions in the past are irrevocable but it's never to late to do what's right. I'm still participating in as many events and fundraisers as possible, as far as volunteering to rebuild an old elementary school. Something I've been wanting to be part of for a while. Although my mother may not notice the significance of it now, she will eventually and be proud but until then, I'm fine with how things are and I am now. Someone that people can now trust and come up to for aid and assistance. As far as I know, there's sure to be others with that same intention. Now, there really should be no excuse to change for the better and make a difference in some one's life. It's worth every effort.